Everyday I have LOTS of ideas of things I would like to post on my blog/blogs. Things that I want to remember (because let's face it, this is my journal)- things like cute things my kids say that I don't want to forget- things that my kids did that made me want to cry but I know I will laugh at years later, things that I've learned in life and don't want to forget, things I am grateful for and don't want to forget, products or procedures that allow my life to run more smoothly because of their usefulness...I could go on and on. Unfortunately, I don't have a personal blog assistant (something I dream of having) who automatically posts for me everyday all of the things swirling around in my head that I would like to post.
This post is a meager attempt at getting a few of those thoughts finally recorded.
Today was a fairly normal day. I just returned home from a visit to CA late last night after having just returned home from South Carolina the day before we left for CA. Carson, Chloe and I ran errand after errand today- fun errands. We finally picked out some bedding for Carson so that he can move into what is now the guest bedroom and we can finally move Chloe into his former room that has the crib- something that is REALLY needing to be done now that Chloe can stretch out and touch the top and bottom of her bassinet when she is fully extended- I did the same thing with Kaitlyn- let her be in the bassinet a little too long also- my sister would say I would soon need a shoehorn to get here in and out if I didn't get her out of there soon.
Anyway- fun time with Chloe and Carson- up to Scottsdale to get some much needed fabric that I ran out of for BB, then over to the mall for some yummy Nordstroms cafe lunch- and a giant chocolate chunk cookie for mr Carson who went pee pee in the potty and who is finally wearing big boy underwear. Then over to pottery barn to pick up the big boy bed bedding. All of that went fairly smooth. Generally my day starts to go a little south lately when we pink up *sissy*, aka Kaitlyn. As much as I love my sweetheart Miss Independent Kaitlyn, she and Carson have been bickering an insane amount the past few months. It's to the point sometimes where I find myself saying some not so great words under my breath or in my mind as I go to break up numerous fights...words I would be ashamed to actually say out loud. The worst thing is when Carson and Kaitlyn have a fight and I am nursing and I have to carry poor Chloe who is just trying to get a meal in while running around disciplining her older brother and sister. I don't know what it is about having children fight with each other- but it just absolutely send me over the edge. I have absolutely no tolerance for it what-so-ever!! Anyway- the bickering started up this afternoon after I picked up Kaitlyn and so I made an executive decision- since Mike wasn't going to be home for dinner- I decided to take the kids to the mall for some healthy mall dinner and then run a couple errands to get end of the school year teacher gifts etc. Well, that plan went well for the first little while- but when it was time to go check out at Barnes and Noble and tell Carson he must leave the Thomas the Tank Engine things quickly went south. Carson had an absolute meltdown...ALL the way back to the car. Then, to make matters worse, we get home and as we are getting ready for bed, I ask Kaitlyn if she has brushed her teeth. She says yes. Since she has been having a bit of a problem telling the truth lately (which is also driving me NUTS), I ask her to bring her tooth brush to me so I can see it. BONE. DRY. I am MAD. I send Kaitlyn straight to her room and tell her no playing with friends tomorrow.
Anyway- what's my point in sharing these stories...??? 1.) I want to help myself remember how incredibly hard it is sometimes when it comes to being a mom so that I can be as empathetic/sympathetic to my own daughters and daughter in laws when they are going through this with my grand children. 2.) I want anyone who reads this little blog to know that my life is most certainly not perfect. I know there are many blogs out there who although their author may not mean to make their blog look like they have the perfect life, it does look like a perfect life. My most certainly is not ;) 3.) MOST IMPORTANTLY though... I LOVE my life. I want my children to know that even on this day, May 25, 2010 when my children were being so horribly naughty- I still absolutely adore them and love them to pieces.
Tonight and I was tucking Carson into his new big boy bed and explaining to him how sad it made mommy that he was acting naughty, he looked up and me and said, "Mommy you were sad that I not obey?" Just that simple little statement somehow washed all of my anger away. I don't know if it was because I was so happy that he is starting to grow up and actually recognize when I am upset and is finally starting to care that he made me feel sad or if it's sometimes hard for me to stay mad or upset at them because I love them so much and would rather just hug them sometimes that discipline them at all. Either way, I LOVE them. I LOVE motherhood. I LOVE teaching them. I LOVE learning from them and trying to improve myself on a daily basis in an effort to provide them with the very best mom I can provide them with.
I was talking with my neighbor today about how quickly time flies. Her son is graduating this year from high school. It reminded me of how on a daily basis I think about the many many things I feel I need to really teach my kids before they leave my little nest I have created for them- the safe little loving nest I have for them. There are endless amounts of things I hope to teach my kids- temporal as well as spiritual matters. Carson loves to be in the kitchen with me lately. I LOVE that he loves to be in there with me. We make all kinds of things. I am trying very hard to teach Kaitlyn how wrong lying is- even little lies- or *joking* lies are not ok. I am trying to teach her the importance of being a good friend. I am quickly learning that the best way to teach my kids is through example. It's very motivating to want to improve your own character when you know your children's character is riding on it.
I am truly enjoying this time in my life. I feel so extremely grateful for all of the LIFE that surrounds me, the opportunities, the lessons, the excitement. There is a LOT going on with Banner Boutique lately. A lot of possibilities, a lot of opportunities. I quickly learned when first opening Banner Boutique that if I put my family first, Banner Boutique will always run more smooth and I will avoid any feelings of guilt and ensure no regret of missing out on raising my children and being there for my family. Somehow it has worked out that if I do that- there always ends up being enough time for Banner Boutique and everything else in my life- as long as my children and my husband come first. I already feel like my kids are growing up way to fast and I am trying to savor each and every moment- even the tougher moments life today :)
Sorry for the rambling...I really could go on and on...I will save some for tomorrow....and the next day, and the next. Until then, enjoy these new pictures courtesy of Kate Moss at www.PeekABooPhotos.blogspot.com She is wonderfully amazing. I also have many new pictures from a few other FABULOUS photographers I hope to share with you soon as well! ;)
I hope to post some pictures from my new found LOVE, South Carolina, soon as well...!